In Regards to the Stars
by Strange and Intoxicating -rsa
Summary: Tired of the Space Program ignoring him, Cid decides to take matters into his own hands. Barret Wallace and Lazard Deusericus were two little problems to his plan of stealing Shinra's Number 26. Cid/Lazard/Barret Drabble Format For Opposite Fic Exchange
1. Chapter 1

In Regards to the Stars

By: Strange and Intoxicating -rsa-

Author Notes: This is part one of fifteen for a story for The Genesis Awards' "Opposite Fic Exchange." The pieces will be in drabble-form, and should be funny. The pairing is, I kid you not, Cid/Lazard/Barret. Your brain bleeding? Mine is.

Disclaimer: I, Strange and Intoxicating -rsa-, do not own, think I own, or will ever own Final Fantasy VII or its Compilations. Even if I did, this is not what I would be writing. Heh.

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This was a fool mission and Cid Highwind knew it. But, what else was he supposed to do—wait for those asshats in Shinra's Space Exploration Department to notice he had the talent? Gaia, he had more than talent—he built the entire ship, knew the intricacies to every button and every wire. Of course he knew how to fly it.

They would never let him, though.

Cid wasn't sure why they ignored him and pretended like he didn't exist. There wasn't any problem with his test scores—he was at the top of his class all throughout the Academy. He passed all of his classes with glowing recommendations into the Space department, to be an astronaut. Every day he breathed in potentially harmful fumes and worked until his fingers bled, yet the Head of the Department, Lazard Deusericus, picked Barret Wallace.

Barret Wallace barely knew enough about a space ship to turn the damn thing on.

And Cid didn't even want to get on the topic about the Head of the Department. The guy had no passion whatsoever for the stars—never even wanted to see them with his own eyes. There were rumors that Lazard wanted to work for the SOLDIER Department, but there was bad blood between him and the SOLDIER First-Class, Sephiroth. Cid didn't even want to think about what he did to get that kind of hate—probably screwed the guy's girlfriend or something.

But that all didn't really matter. What mattered was if Cid could go to space. He wasn't going to go down without a fight, and if that meant stealing the damn thing, so be it.

After all, what was the worst thing that could happen?

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	2. Chapter 2

Author Notes: This is part two of fifteen.

Disclaimer: I, Strange and Intoxicating -rsa-, do not own, think I own, or will ever own Final Fantasy VII or its Compilations. Even if I did, this is not what I would be writing. Heh.

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Lazard Deusericus would have preferred damn near anything compared to Shinra's Space Exploration Department. It wasn't even the people that bothered him so much; it was the mind-numbing boredom of staring at mountains of paperwork and algorithms that made about as much sense as a chocobo mating with a Nibel Wolf (he reminded himself not to mention that particular breeding anywhere near Hojo's lab. Lazard didn't want to be the cause of new monster babies springing up in Midgar.)

This was punishment, the man knew. Ever since Sephiroth parted ways the General made it harder and harder for Lazard to get in good graces with the President. It was silly, especially considering the obliteration of their relationship was because he walked into Sephiroth's room to see a pretty little blonde with his pretty blue eyes butt naked and his pretty little-

Lazard cut his mind off, and looked back down at the papers. It was another request from Cid Highwind to be the pilot for the upcoming project... When was the man going to give up? His request was declined at least once a week since Wallace was chosen to be the pilot. Lazard appreciated the mechanic's will and determination, but the Space program had put Barret Wallace through the training for the mission already—he was the best astronaut they had.

He stamped the request with red letters.

REJECTED.

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	3. Chapter 3

Author Notes: This is part three of fifteen.

Disclaimer: I, Strange and Intoxicating -rsa-, do not own, think I own, or will ever own Final Fantasy VII or its Compilations. Even if I did, this is not what I would be writing. Heh.

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Barret Wallace didn't really care much for theatrics or drama in any form. He had enough of that with his ex-wife to last him for a lifetime.

Paperwork, in any form, was also something that Barret tended to avoid if he could. He was an astronaut, the highest qualified one on the Planet and the only one that knew how to fly the piece of metal Shinra wanted to send into space. Saying he was intelligent was an understatement—but that didn't mean he wanted to waste his time reading and rereading some paper by some cracked mechanic, wanting him to file paperwork to give up his spot on the ship.

Was he out of his fuckin' mind?

Barret grunted and ripped up the request—the fifth that he opened, though there were various other letters of the same caliber littered around his apartment: in the trashcan, a coaster to not get beer on his glass table, lining the mini-chocobo's cage (Marlene sure did like to feed the thing more often than she was supposed to, so he imagined that the letters were at least serving some purpose.) Dozens of letters were sent to him on a constant basis, but he only opened the ones from Highwind.

There really wasn't a particular reason as to why—it was like an automatic response. Maybe one day he'd actually put something in the letter to make Barret feel like he really _should_ give up his spot...

But until then, Barret mused, the pieces would go nicely at the bottom of the cage.

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	4. Chapter 4

Author Notes: This is part four of fifteen.

Disclaimer: I, Strange and Intoxicating -rsa-, do not own, think I own, or will ever own Final Fantasy VII or its Compilations. Even if I did, this is not what I would be writing. Heh.

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It was today, the day that Cid Highwind had looked forward to and dreaded since he was told that he wouldn't be he man flying into outer space. The townspeople were lined up to see the launch, the head of Shinra's Space Exploration stood next to the door, speaking in hushed tones and posing for pictures with Wallace. That was supposed to be him, shaking hands with Shinra's top dogs and getting ready to go off, gallivanting into the dark unknown. He knew better than anyone how to take care of the damn ship, how to make her move through the stars and the heavens. He knew every inch of her flawless steel and wires.

There was security, yeah, but they couldn't tell if Cid was supposed to be there or not thanks to his mechanic's clothing emblazoned with the Shinra logo. If anyone asked (which they wouldn't) he would tell them that he was checking up on the cooling system in the heart of the ship. No one would be the wiser. He would get onto the ship and launch into space before the others could even notice.

Too bad that Lazard knew his face.

Too bad Wallace did, too.

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